Today marks the seventh day of my quest. While I must admit that roaming the planes of time and space has been an enjoyable experience in the past week, there has to be a time when i must sit down on one place, take some time off, and think about the things that I have witnessed and written over. What seemed to be days of events or weeks for some of my stories were only imprisoned in a day, for it was a thrilling experience to witness events in a different view than the living do. Perhaps this is one of the advantages of being a dead person - not that it would be sought after, anyway.
I would admit that some of the stories I have written have some relations to experiences I've had in life. Sure, it has to be a cruel trick of the Light to do this to me, but I know that most of them did emphasize on the greater moments of my own weaknesses or strengths when I still walked the land along with the living. It is a weird feeling seeing it all from another perspective, let alone from other people who have committed or experienced such wrongs as well, and I will have to admit that it made me feel all the more uncomfortable and disturbed at my own actions in the past.
But I guess it is her own way of teaching me how to become a better person in preparation of being reborn anew. One has to lament and think over his or her own trespasses in the past to become a better person for the present and in turn create the best future possible for his or her life.
"I see you have not been journeying today."
The Light had already found me despite my best efforts to find a desolate place to sit down and think things through. Perhaps I underestimate her powers.
"I have decided to think over the experiences I have had in the past week." I said, flipping through the silver-stained black pages of my journal, taking in each word that had come from my own mind with more understanding than when I wrote it.
"That is good. What have you gleaned from it all so far?"
"I feel that I have not been a completely good person in life." I said. "That I have committed so many wrongs myself and I felt deserving of my position right now to experience all of my rights and wrongs all over again and this time in the lives of other people as well - people I don't even know nor see."
"Do you think so? Do you think that this task I have set upon you is some form of punishment or atonement?"
"Perhaps."
"Then you are mistaken."
"Why so?"
"I set that task upon you so that you may reflect upon these mistakes that you believe you have also committed and what other people commit as well. You are not the only imperfect and sinful person in this world. Others also commit such things, maybe even worse than what you have experienced or witnessed in life and death. It is for you to understand that there are greater rights and wrongs in this world and you must not depress yourself over the mundane things that you may have done."
"Then it is not to punish me?"
"Of course not. It is to make you, as you had thought of, a better person when you are reborn anew."
I felt her smile at me before she disappeared. As the darkness surrounded me again, the silvery ink of the pen glowed with brilliance and I knew what to do. Against its light I once again stained the next empty pages of the journal and started to write.
A retrospect. If I imprison other peoples' stories in this journal, then I feel I should also contribute what I had just lamented over as well.
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